Journal

Planning Uncertainties

I find it a strange irony that most living beings have a tendency to plan, when no one really knows what is going to happen next. We all plan something for the future; it could be for the coming evening, next hour, day, month, year and so on. Even animals plan for the future. Whether it is ants gathering food or birds building nests, they are all planning for something in the future.

If we do not plan and prepare we would not be able to survive very long.

Yet the element of uncertainty in our lives is mind boggling. We can only assume, guess, or gamble on what is going to happen.

Why am I thinking so much about it now… because every time I plan something for the day, the day has a plan for itself. This reality has become more ‘on my face’ since I became a mom. Everyday is different. And the only thing I can be sure of in the day is that it is going to be nothing as ‘planned’.

Not just on a daily basis but even otherwise. After my daughter was born it was natural that I was weak for a couple of weeks. Although my delivery was perfectly normal, I had to have stitches. After two months or so, when I was supposed to have started feeling better and get on with my daily chores, I realised that my stitches weren’t healing. It took them three months to realise what was wrong, and another three months to get me an appointment to fix it; which was to get it restitched. And another four months for the stitches to heal again.

There is no reason for me to whine about something as petty. There are others who have gone through much worse. But if you have ever been pregnant, you know how desperate you get waiting just to feel your usual self again. And I have always been on the impatient side when it came to matters like these. So all plans of getting back on my feet and getting everything under control… failed.

All the same, I cannot deny that planning is important, or rather preparing is crucial. If I do not prepare I am in such a mess that I end up pulling my hair out… instead of my daughter doing it for me. But having hard and fast rules about ‘plan of the day’ is a foolish thing to do and in my case self harming.

What I have learnt is that it is important to plan, but it is also important to embrace change in plans; without getting frustrated. Because I know from my own experience, every time I was unable to do what I planned I became more and more miserable and frustrated. And that is not the kind of person anyone wants to live with. And that is especially not the kind of mom a one year old needs.

So do what you can and leave the rest to take its own course. Trust me, we do much more damage by holding on to what we could not do than we do by letting go. But don’t ever give up on yourself; after all you gotta do what you gotta do! Just take it easy.

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