Journal

My Thoughts on Your Thoughts

I asked a very simple question out of curiosity and she took me quite seriously and responded to a simple question in an amazing way here The Truth behind Motivation

This is simply my thoughts on the same.

First of all, as I have already said, thank you, for taking my question seriously. I treasure conversations of this nature dearly. Its like food to my being and keeps me functioning. And it has been a while since I had a conversation of this sort with someone. Although time and space does not allow us to meet up over a relaxed cup of coffee to just sit and chat for hours, you have really won my heart with this blog post.

I do not have half as much experience as you, to comment on it so maybe my thoughts on it might not be very realistic or insightful. But because you asked I will share them anyway. And because you inspire me so much to think and write I will start this year’s first blog post as a response to the blogpost you dedicated to me. Also because for the past one month I have been trying to find time to write for my blog and failed. Your response gave me a new boost to restart doing how much ever I can and more.

I asked you what drives you because I find great depth in what you write. Although I have to admit I haven’t read it all, in whatever I have read, I sense a very deep honesty and insight which I find rare and attractive. That is the reason I was trying to understand, what is your motivation and motive behind doing what you do; more so the motive. What are you trying achieve and what is the driving force behind this achievement. Simply because it interests me. This is why I was so pleased with the effort you took to respond.

When you say “the sense of achievement you get when you do something that your past self thought was impossible is a feeling that’s outrageously addictive” you perfectly hit the spot.

I have begun to realise it best as a mother. After and before my first daughter was born I constantly felt inept and the feeling of ‘not doing enough’ haunted me everyday. Not so much because I was a housewife, but because I felt I was not a good one, as I had certain standards for myself which I was constantly failing to achieve. But as soon as my second daughter was born, I was surprised at myself every single day with how much I was able to do, when I set my mind to it. Because the feeling of ineptness was making me a miserable person to live with and I was very determined to change that. The only way I could change that was by being happy, and one of the things that helped me be happy was achieving the goals I set for myself. So I started putting in a lot of thought into setting realistic goals and ways of achieving them. At present I consider everyday as an achievement with how much I am able to accomplish with two infants.

And I must agree that the fear of going back to how I was does get me going and doing more everyday. Because I remember feeling so miserable about ‘not doing enough’, as compared to feeling awesome about how much I have done, I never ever want to go back.

That is why every single time I finish a goal I set a new one. Although I am not rigid with my goals, I have started to make it a point to reach them, no matter how long it takes. Just for that sense of accomplishment. And it can be something as simple as stitching a pillow cover or writing this blogpost.

I never really explored the fear of stagnancy before reading this article, but coming to think of it, it is truly a fear that haunts me like crazy! Of not growing as a person. Of not learning something new. For me this stagnancy occurs when I stop interacting with people. As long as I am meeting new people I feel as if I am growing. I feel as if I am a plant that grows only if it is watered with people telling their experiences and sharing how they feel about things and life in general. That is why along with looking after my family going out and meeting people is a priority for me.

For this reason you taking my question so seriously means so much more to me than you would realise.

And when you talk about the mundane everyday decisions, it immediately strikes a chord. Especially being a mum looking after two children every decision is a big one! And has serious and immediate consequences. If I had realised this in my earlier years, many of which I feel I have wasted, I might have, just might have done a lot more.

Sorry for making your blogpost all about me, but it made me feel and think. Which are the two biggest achievements of an artist (yes I consider writers to be artists).

And thank you once again for your time. I really do appreciate the time you spent thinking about answering a humble/simple question.

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